


The Dream

by dawnlight



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bagginshield Feels, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-03-31 17:42:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3986980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawnlight/pseuds/dawnlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Thorin, Bilbo is his sweet dream<br/>For Bilbo, Thorin is the savior from nightmares</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**  
**

**  
**

**#1: The World of Food**

 

*

 

A dream built from a projection of owner’s self-conscious. Whether the projection was a human, or the surroundings, nothing was real. However, in a very rare case, when the projection started to have a free will against the owner, they’ve became The Intruder.

 

*

 

‘ _What’s wrong?’_

 

_Thorin blinked, and in one second he already knew he was in the middle of a grass field, yet he never remember this kind of place existed before. Then in another blink, his eyes met with the hazel orbs, staring at him curiously._

_‘Is this heaven?’ a gasp came outta his mouth, asking the beauty in the blond hair, feel stupid with his own words cause that’s all he can think right now._

_The beauty shook his head, ‘this is no heaven.’ with angelic face flushed in red as he whispered again, ‘this is the world of food.’_

_Thorin raised an eyebrow, that’s the most ridiculous thing he ever heard. ‘I don’t believe you. Who are you?’_

_The blond pointed at himself, answering without any thought, ‘I’m the food.’ Those sparkly orbs widened, trying to convince Thorin that he was telling the truth. Of course, Thorin won’t buy it, so the beauty took a dagger out of nowhere and began cutting into his pale wrist._

_‘No!’ Thorin immediately grabbed the wounded wrist but in no time his nose hit the sweet and savory scent and he groaned, now his hands covered in thick, blue blood, he felt his throat getting dry._

_Giggling, the blonde murmured in such alluring tone, ‘just taste it.’ He said, scooping some dripping blood and brought it to Thorin’s lips. Hesitantly, Thorin licked some on the blond’s fingertips, but when the sweetness went past his throat, he wanted more, and more he got as he licked the fingers clean, didn’t miss the cute mewls came out from the food._

_‘It feels good for you too?’ Thorin smirked at the blond, ‘to be eaten?’_

_The blond nodded, ‘yes.’ He said breathlessly, 'yes!'_

_Thorin brought the wounded wrist to his mouth, ‘anything aside your blood that edible?’_

_‘The milk…’ the beauty was shaking now that Thorin sucked the wine out of him, ‘you can have the milk, the juice, everything...'_

_Thorin asked dryly, ‘can I have all of you?’_

……………………………………………………………………………

Thorin awakened to the view of his bedroom. He tried to remember what’s happen, but his mind became so fuzzy and all he got was the soft voice repeating the same sentences.

_  
_

_'Yes please have me, I'm alive to be yours...'_

 

Thorin got up and the brunette scratched the back of his head, “what a weird dream…” he sighed.

 

*

**  
**

**#2: The World of Fear**

 

*

 

Nightmare created from fear, and most people can’t fight it cause in their dream they were defenseless. But there’s a way to make us went through the nightmare safely, by projecting a strong figure called The Guardian.

****

*

 

_Bilbo screamed, blood splatters on him, tears falling, but he didn't have idea why he had to cry or what he really see in front of him. He only knew that he was hurt and wounded. Whatever it is, it made him slumped on the cold floor with hands covered his ears and mouth praying in the name of Valar, asking for any mercy for him to be anywhere but here._

_He snapped as heard the loud bang from somewhere. Bilbo can hear his own heart beat raced when the sound followed by the steps approaching his shelter. He shivered, didn't dare to look up when it became close and closer…_

_He screamed out in a fear when he felt a stranger grabbed him out of cupboard, the stuffy place he called Sanctuary since he can remember, to the endless darkness which always haunting him for years. He struggled, but he was weak. He felt exhausted and so he can only scream, tossing his body to get away from any strong grip on him._

 

_‘Hey,’_

 

_Bilbo looked up. His face felt stung from the unstoppable scream, eyes became swollen from his endless tears, but now his gaze became clear as he can see a black haired man stared at him in worry, ‘are you okay?’ the man asked._

_Thank Yavanna, Bilbo tried to say it over and over, knowing that he met another human being instead the nightmare itself, but his voice cracked and he can only cough it out. He touched his sore throat, eyes still staring at the savior with a disappointment to himself cause he can’t speak, he can’t say how thankful he was that this man wasn’t an enemy for him._

_‘It's okay’, the man seemed understand what he want to say just from their eye contact. It because, slowly, Bilbo was surrounded by warm hands cupped his face, before the man let their forehead and nose touched to each other while whispering gently,_

 

_‘You're safe now.’_

 

……………………………………………………………………………

 

Bilbo held his blanket close to his chest. It's cold, the morning, but his heart feel warm. His face heated, as his skinny hands grabbed the fabric even tighter.

He never felt this good before after a nightmare.

 

*

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Crossed Universe

*

 

**#3: Crossed Universe**

 

*

_We all knew how the dream worked. We will be in the middle of a familiar place but we can't remember how we get there._

_So did Bilbo. Warily he found himself walking through dark alleyway. His eyes blinked in confusion at the sight of people in weird fashion and distorted face. They were whispering things to each other while judging him with their empty gaze. Their voices coming out like incoherent hiss and their shadow began growing, towering over him in menace that Bilbo shuddered in fear._

_Still, he kept moving for that he could sense the danger to stay. He forced his heavy legs to swing forward, to the end of this brick-wall of tall maze until he saw white light upfront. Hope started to enlighten him. He almost smile eagerly and almost bounced at the lightness on his steps when suddenly the people surrounded him._

_‘No.’ His back tensed in alert and his whisper coming out hoarse because the crowds circled him, cowered him to the brick wall. ‘Don’t come near.’ He pleaded, almost crying at how their eyes were gone now and there’s only hollowness in there. ‘No!’ he screamed when they suffocated him, their cold and slimy hands tried to assault him._

_‘NOOOOO!’_

_Bilbo hollered, loud and clear, when someone grabbed his wrist tightly and yanked him up in the air._

_‘Please Eru… Please I don’t want to be here…’ He sobbed, ‘Please let me go…’_

_‘Hey,’_

_Bilbo startled. With his lips still trembling and eyes watered from his agony, he slowly raised his face and then he was just drowned in astonishment. He remembered this voice. He remembered the small smile and he remembered the cold blue orbs the most, though none of this very handsome being ever treated him coldly. There’s only sun radiated from the content gaze. Only mercy spoken out by the deep, baritone voice that soon Bilbo found his fear was stripped away from him._

_Soon, Bilbo found he’s in love._

_‘Hi again.’ He titled his head in greet, wore the red blush proudly on each of his cheeks and kept wide grin no matter how it hurt his jaw._

_‘I start to feel there’s something in between us.’ The man said, still holding his wrist. When Bilbo looked around, the alleyway cleared and he was actually hanging on the sky, with the handsome stranger sitting by the end of a small could. It’s very childish, their surroundings. So pure and innocent, just like how he wished all of his dreams turned be. ‘Not that I’ll complain to see you again, lovely.’_

_Bilbo giggled, aww, the way he was called, it curled his toes and make him squealed cheekily. Lovely, he loved it. So lovely. He was so lovely to the man and he never thought he looked lovely until this man arrived into his dream and saved him from his nightmare. ‘Thank you.’ Somehow Bilbo unbounded himself to the grip and while he stayed hovering on the bottomless sky, his smaller hands cupped the man’s face and leaned in to praise his savior with a chaste kiss, ‘you saved me again…’ like a Guardian of Dream he always prayed to protect him before he went to sleep, ‘If a kiss wasn’t enough then I’ll give you twice, thrice, all of me for I have nothing beside my pitiful self to present you…’_

_‘Precious…’_

_Bilbo gasped when he was kissed back in the same amount of gentleness and -please Yavanna- love, hopefully with a lot of love and affection. ‘You’re not pitiful.’_

_._

_Whoever created this beautiful stranger, they crafted gold into the blond curls, putting a pair of emerald for the sparkling orbs, moistened the small and pouty lips with crystal and spreading stars into the freckled cheeks. Of course Thorin would never understand what’s happen in this meeting. Why they had to meet again and why here, why now?_

_He could question none, only stared at the beauty in dazed love and felt his heart bouncing childishly cause he’s just easily admit he’s in love._

_Dream came from thousands shade of emotion. Yet there’s no lie in the world of dream._

_‘If you allowed me, I say you are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. So distracting, so amazing, so soft and alluring, and it ached me to find you here, hiding in my darkest desire…’_

_‘I’m not hiding anywhere.’ The beauty shook his head, frowning, ‘I’m right here in front of you.’_

_‘Yes. I know.’ Thorin chuckled as he snaked his hand around the beauty and gathered the blond to fill the empty space in his chest, ‘For now, we are here, together...’_

 

…………………………………………

 

Bilbo stirred.

 

Outside the window, sun was rising. But no matter how much he had to bask into the light, there’s only grieving cold resided in his heart for the loneliness had been his roommates since the death of his parents. He looked at both his palms, shaken at the lingering feels from the stranger. He chewed on his bottom lip, quite sure the kiss was real. Just by lips pressed to lips, Bilbo moaned lowly at how aware he was to the clash of warm fleshes and the graze of soft textures. He hugged himself to stop this blissful shiver, for that he wanting nothing else aside going back to sleep and repeating the dream, over and again. Oh if Eru allowed him he preferred to live in this dream where his days passed in delightful affair to his Guardian, with many of kisses and hugs coloring his monotone, boring life.

Bilbo sighed in regret, of why he’s not sleepy anymore, or why night passed into the day or why reality can’t be as perfect as dream.

 

_The handsome stranger..._

 

Bilbo looked up at the golden sun, wondering if the man was real.

 

.

 

Thorin stirred.

 

He didn't want to stop dreaming but the sound of his alarm clock sent him back to the reality. He grunted, smashing the tip of the poor thing to shut it up, before he sat up in the middle of his huge bed. Alone.

 

“Shit.”

 

He cursed lowly, as the shadow of the beautiful stranger in his dream keep haunting him that every time he remembered, his heart squeezed in an uncomfortable way, his stomach pulsating in displease and his eyes watered. Oh no, he didn’t cry. But he admitted it was close to. He was so upset to experience a dream which feel so close to reality. The softness, the whisper, the delicate skin, everything on _Lovely_ sent him to the edge of his sanity, by questioning himself whether he was dreaming or he was actually got seduced in his sleep. Well, the last option may sounds a bit creepy, but who knows…?

Thorin stared in annoyance at the morning light outside the tall windows. He wanted to dream longer, he wanted to meet with the blond again, now that he knew how precious every second of his life.

_The beautiful stranger..._

 

Thorin wondered if such beauty was his.

 

*

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Feel the Love

 

*

 

Bilbo walked at bustling school corridor, dark red oversized hoodie hugged his skinny figure as an attempt to make him look bigger, or at least as decent as a high school teenager should. Up until the last term, he was the member of soccer team in order to grow muscles –since getting taller is impossible when it came to genetics- yet an accident happened in winter, taking away his parents life along with his will and courage to continue playing.

Friends brushed past him, greeted him and he smiled back while nodding at them. Oh it’s a miracle of heart, to be able to smile again just so people stop prying and pitying. Everyone believed he was broken, he needed counsel, he needed love, and Bilbo hated it because they’re hit it right. That’s why he gritted his teeth every time tears closing to fall and tried to laugh out his grief instead so when he was released from hospital with a limping leg and bandaged head, he’s not only brave enough to speak at Bungo and Belladona Baggins funeral, but he also managed to recite the memories of his father’s respectful life as city council’s member and his mother’s adventurous life as wild-life reporter.

No teenager should grow up early and face reality as harsh as this. But he couldn’t change the way of destiny so he swallowed the pain and show only his smile to the world.

 

“BB.” Tall boy with white blond hair and geeky glasses approached him and he looked up thoughtfully at Thranduil ‘Andy’ Greenwood, his friend and neighbor since he could remember.

“Hi Andy.” He muttered softly as they walked together to their locker. “Nice glasses.” He eyed the mystic grey orbs and sneered. Only Andy could dress nerdy yet still as hot as supermodel.

“It’s nice because I’m the one who using it.” The said boy answered haughtily, forced Bilbo to wiggle his nose to hide his mocking snort. “By the way, you don’t reply my email last night.”

Bilbo raised his eyebrows in concern. “I don’t know what to say with you having big crush over Celebrian Lorien despite she’s dating Elrond, and no, Andy I don’t care if she preferred brunette rather than blond or the fact that you tried to dye your hair with food coloring.” He opened his locker and began sorting today’s lesson material while Andy leaned on the next locker sulkily.

 

“She’s so pretty.” Andy muttered ruefully, “and Elrond is just so plain.”

 

Bilbo rolled his eyes. Ah, how simple it'll be if his current problem was being teenager, instead dealing with snoopy relatives and constant nightmares.

At least, having Andy as friend helped Bilbo forgetting, cause Andy was so self-centered and brutally honest that Bilbo didn’t have to expect being treated as frail being. He only chuckled as the boy went on and on ranting about the unrequited love towards the Captain of Archery Club. Ceres, how she was nicknamed, was born as beautiful as star –in metaphor- with her wavy golden hair and twinkling hazel eyes, radiating innocence yet in the same time, promising a clever mischief of a Took.

Yep, she was Bilbo’s cousin from his mother side, which also the reason why Andy envied him to share _blood_ with her.

 

“Hello, BB…”

 

_Speak of the angel_ ; the said girl approached them with forever divine smile which always make Andy bore an uninterested mask to cover tumbling heart, while Bilbo personally think she looked a bit creepy this way. “I’m having a hard time in my math class again so could you teach me logarithm?” See, she was always to the point and had this soft yet demanding tone which was hard to resist. “Andy, you can come along too, since we’re both not so far from being the bottom in class.”

 

“Um.” Andy nodded in resignation.

 

“Very well.” She waved both Andy and him a merry good bye, “see you both at lunch.”

 

*

 

 

_Bilbo blinked._

 

 

_Here he stood at all-white room. It was so odd, so disturbing him even in the nothingness. He looked down and suddenly flinched at seeing blood pooling around him, spreading in slow yet thick stream, he lift his drenched feet and stepped back to prevent more stain from his pale skin. Yet, no matter how he moved, the blood followed him and kept drowning him now until his ankles._

_‘No.’ Panic began rushing all over him. ‘Go away…’ he breathed the words, tried to turn and run but his body was immobilized for such action and all he could do was stepping back in hurry, at least until his back cornered to an end that Bilbo realized someone was standing behind him, wrapped stronger and bigger arms around his lithe waist and lifted him up to the air…_

 

_‘Lovely.’_

 

_Warmth attacked him, kicked away the nervous wreck and slowed his racing heartbeat though it thumped harder and harsher in the presence of the mysterious guardian._

 

_‘You came.’ Bilbo turned and whispered his thankful on the brunette lips, ‘I wondered if I could see you again.’ As he said it, his hands stretched to cling around the man’s neck in a relief hug._

 

_‘Now you see me…’ the man rubbed his back gently, ‘and now I have you in my arms…’_

 

_Bilbo closed his eyes, enjoying the scent and trembled at how real it felt. This was supposed to be a dream, he aware, so what possessed his mind to crave this kind of attention and protection? But there’s no such thing as detailing a dream. He should just let it flow as he opened his eyes again and realized they were riding in a futuristic sport car on an endless road surrounded by the blur of green and gray. Bilbo looked up, blushing because he was sitting on the man’s lap as the other steer the ride._

_Strangely, instead being clouded by hesitation as he should, Bilbo leaned his head on the man’s chest instead, enjoyed listening to the rushing heart beat and grazing the soft fabric of sapphire blue shirt with his fingertips. ‘Where are we going?’ he asked._

 

_‘Nowhere.’ The man answered. ‘Not that I know if there’s any end to this journey. All I did here was holding you.’_

 

_‘Then how about we improvise the situation?’ Bilbo giggled as he looked up. Where he found such boldness, he had no idea. Dream was a world with less vocal and more action, so it’s never a favor for tell-tale and exchanging information. The man was aware to it too by opening the door and embraced him as they jumped out the car, Bilbo buried his face into the broad chest to hold his frightening scream for the sudden adrenaline rush, before they fell on bouncy surface, which later he knew as a sea of white feathers._

_Bilbo slowly sat up and looked around. The sky was grey and the feathers hung in the air like frozen raindrops. He bit his bottom lip because his heart swelled with explosion of joyous feels, until he felt a finger tugged his mouth and he looked down, his guardian lied on a side, watching him with fond smile and silently begged him to give mercy to his lip. Bilbo answered it with a squeal, ‘oh I love you!’ He jumped on the stranger chest, straddled the man with giggle still decorating his drunken red face._

 

_‘I love you.’ His voice softened, his gaze became drowsy and his smile was full of longing. ‘I love you…’ he said it bitterly now, for that he wished the man wasn’t only the part of his dream._

 

.

 

_Thorin believed he never fell in love before, not if it made his chest tightened in suffocating knot, strangled breath from passing his throat, and turned his face so damn red from the lack of respiration. He couldn’t think, only feel, as the blond haired beauty hugged him, shared again the intense moment of pressing limbs and intoxicating scent of the sun, spring and sandalwood._

_He eagerly held the boy with the same amount of greed and rolled their body until he became the one who top, giving him privilege to admire the piece of heavenly treasure wrapped in white tees and nothing else. How long this dream will last, he didn’t know and sincerely afraid to find out. Only let his hand caressed the blond, from tracing the freckled cheeks onto brushing the soft, slight parting lips, swell of proud contorted in his face because this perfect being flushing hard from his touch._

 

_He lowered his body, towering over the stranger until their nose touched. Both grinned and then laughed at the electricity smeared under their skin._

 

_‘I don’t want to wake up.’_

 

_The boy cupped his face, pouting. ‘I want to be with you.’_

 

_Thorin chuckled, ‘So do I.’ He closed his eyes, let his instinct titled his head and leaned in even closer before he caught the boy’s lips. Smirking at hearing wanton gasp and felt the boy trembled for him, Thorin grasped the smaller body into a tight hug and devoured the whining mouth, claimed each corner of hot cavern. The beauty moaned, struggling beneath him but not for freedom ffrom the the caged limbs. **More,** that’s what hazel eyes told him, **more,** that’s the meaning behind digging claws palming his hair, **more** , coughed the boy when Thorin giving them a moment to breathe, before their mouth clashed again and their noises filled the air._

 

..................................

 

Thorin brushed his lips.

 

Of what he dreamed last night bothered him for the rest of day, he had trouble in many aspects of real life. Let’s say he was supposed to be a designer and _designed_ something for his nearest deadline, which is tonight. However, the artist only spent his day sketched the boy from his dream. He attempted to bring alive the image so he could believe he’s not having delusion. It's either the blond was existed or there's something wrong happened to his brain.

From the charcoal-made portrait, pen-stylized sketch, added with markers here and there, until he rummaged attic to find unused canvas and tripod before he painted a still-life moment of his naked _angel_ , lying on the bed of feathers and blended in through the paleness except for the standing out pinkness-es of blushing red cheeks, alluring lips, the perky nips and more shades of darker pink down the slender hips. Thorin even trembled in lust just by imagining things he would admire, things he would do to such sinful body and he groaned, believed he’s not someone like this before today, who jerked off his release watching his own painting staring back at him in innocent haze.

 

That’s it. He’s going to call a therapist.

 

“Thorin.” His little brother knocked on the door, before opened it and entered his studio, “Mr. Greenwood called if you’re ready with the first presentation for-.” Yet the grey eyed brunette raised an eyebrow at the new painting settled still on the tripod, “I hope this… vulgar expression of art wasn’t the part of the project.”

It brought chuckle to form on Thorin face, as the man cleaning up the room, “Don't be stupid, Aragorn.”

“Who knows?” Aragorn walked at the tripod to observe the painting closer, “you’re always had kink with art.” Whispered the younger brunette, “hmm, this is so beautiful, brother, too perfect to be true.” Then Aragorn smiled coyly at his direction, “mind to share how it ended in submissive position? Do we have a name?”

Thorin glared back, suddenly get irritated. Half because Aragorn was right, there’s no way someone that beautiful ever existed, hence a boy to born flawless except for those golden curls and faint sideburns. He’s also building silent rage for that he didn’t know any name to mention or caring for asking name from his stranger. It was frustrating him to the point he stopped whatever he did and took a seat on his favorite chair to brood in quietness.

“Ah, so it’s a secret. Delightful.” Despite being younger in five years, Aragorn was proved to be more mature than him to be able teasing him and still had head intact to the body. He answered none, only looked at the sky outside the huge window and continue his brooding, waiting his little brother to leave. Yet Aragorn still lingered around his drafting table, which now stuffed with sketches of his beautiful stranger.

 

“BB?”

 

Thorin glanced at Aragorn, who now holding to a pencil sketch with a triumph smirk, “what a cute name. Is it the initial?” the young man approached Thorin to show the man that there’s indeed an initial written in Khuzdul (their family’s secret language) in the heart of the beauty. Thorin blinked in disbelief. He didn’t remember he write something like this before.

“BB…” He muttered the initial, let it glided through his tongue and a sense of familiarity hit him, like he knew it’s really the name of the boy.

For the first time today, Thorin smiled.

“Okay, that’s my cue to leave.” Aragorn chuckled at seeing his expression and headed to the door, “just give us a favor, boss. Please come up with something that wasn’t underage and naked for our presentation later.”

 

*

 

 

 

 


	4. Feel the Love : Part 2

#4: Feel the Love

 

_Thorin laughed._

_He sat at alcove chairs on this night club surrounded by his co-workers and brothers. Faces around him might be unclear, but he knew it’s them and so he blamed this dizziness to the scotch and vag-… pff, he means vodka, not the cute little being belongs to those strippers. Thorin chuckled lightly at his own silly thought, when someone howled to someone else and it made Thorin laughed the loudest though personally he didn’t understand what to laugh for. He only accepted it gratefully when a hand passed him another glass and so the men cheered before they drowned the burning liquid. However, just as the glass touched his lips, his gaze fixed to the new dancer in a cage._

_His heart throbbed._

_The dancer had long curly blond hair and hazy green eyes. She was busy swayed her curve, which was wrapped in skin-toned bikini, while the rest of her body inked with snaking branches and leaves made of gold and silver paint. Dazedly, Thorin threw his glass away and walked directly at her cage, his eyes never stop staring at her. She was laughing and moaning at her audience teasingly until she found his gaze on her and suddenly the world around them scattered and exchanged into a scene of medieval battle ground, with warriors and their mount shouting battle cries as their sword and shield clashed at the enemy of monsters._

_The dancer stared at him, except that it’s not a dancer anymore and it’s not a she. The boy blinked and looked around with frown. However, before any harm could be done to his precious one, Thorin embraced the blond, shifting them to enter another level of dream. The one they would share together._

_.................................._

_Bilbo wet his lips._

_It’s always close call, to be saved when his nightmare started. Now he was strolling in the misty forest with the man as his guide. “Why are we here?” Bilbo asked and stunned at his own question. He didn’t really care, truthfully. He just knew they had to go through the dream like walking through the quest with no starting point. Suddenly, they were in the middle of a scene and they had to finish this story in a way to return to reality._

_His guardian took a glance at him, strutted him from head to toes by such judging gaze. Nothing he could read from hard expression of the man for now and Bilbo couldn’t help but afraid if love in between them wasn’t even favored in their fantasies. However, a small smile tugged on the corner of the man’s lips and a tease of tender kiss brushed his lips enough to make his knees gave in. If the brunette wasn’t around, he might sink to the ground and had to deal with embarrassment, instead being taken into a tight embrace and carried by strong arms._

_‘Here we are.’_

_They arrived at an opening. The heart of forest, both knew this is their destination without exchanging information. Bilbo only looked up and locked his gaze with the guardian when he was lifting down to the ground yet not completely being freed from the loose tangle of hands. They stood close -closer if they could- and smiled contently at the mystical connection they felt in this silence. No need words to reassure they loved each other, only gesture could explain how their very soul resonance in each presence._

_‘My Guardian…’ Bilbo ran his hand on his own chest, before he dug them into his skin and pulled out his little heart, ‘please, would you take care of my heart?’_

_………………………………_

_Thorin stared at the blond in front of him with fascination. What a perfection, to stand proudly holding to the most precious thing_ he _only had, ready to give it to prove_ his _love. **Take it** , said his thirst. **Treasure it** , shout his greed. The urge to claim was too strong that his body jerked in tremor and his heart clenched viciously. **I'd never love someone like this before** , he frowned as he never enough to repeat it, because this kind of love was too striking and too cruel for that he was forced to surrender and sentenced to his fate._

_‘Then let it be even.’ He decided to pull out his erratic beating heart, too eager to part away with such greedy monster of desire and lust. What kind of bond created from this exchange, he might only understand it after he placed his heart into the empty shell in the blond’s chest, and getting another heart to be pushed into himself._

_…………………………………_

_They gasped, at the first beat. Their eyes met, their mind became one, as they can feel each other presence both inside and outside their body and they can feel the emotion and the unspoken desire, which made Thorin smiled and Bilbo blushed in embarrassment._

_‘So you want me…?’ Thorin caressed Bilbo’s pinkish pale cheek._

_Bilbo cleared his throat, he tried to be strong but then this bond made him weak, even weaker with this man’s presence, and so he decided to said what’s in his mind._

_‘Silly, I’m just as desperate as you…’_

_No further time shall be wasted, or so they thought longingly when their lips clashed again into a deep, demanding kiss. Even when the warm breeze swept away the scenery around them and they entered deeper layer of dream, trapped them in a wide round cavern made of sandstone, when they separated for a second due to breathing issue, Bilbo turned to see a pond at the corner with tall waterfall coming from nowhere, and his grip on Thorin’s front coat tightened, **just the right place for the right moment** , he thought and to have Thorin laughed on his ear, enough to blush him harder for absently said it out loud._

_‘Then…’ Thorin caressed both his tensed arms and kissed away the shame from his bloody red face, ‘shall we take a dip?’_

_Bilbo's eyes widened. He glared at Thorin couldn’t help but look scandalized. **What is this about?** He said grudgingly but no use to deny, Bilbo knew what-this-is-about already as he gave the man a small nod and released himself from the hug. His hand rested on the first button of his shirt, hesitating for sure, but it’s only for a moment before he started unbuttoning them._

_‘Have you ever swum before?’ Thorin watched him with this forever sheepish smile on the man’s face, because Bilbo was shivering and enjoyed how the blue orbs hungrily witnessed him stripping from the soft, silky garment._

_‘Well, I love swimming.’ Bilbo looked at Thorin, finally could giggle cause the heart in him thumped violently when he revealed his shirt -which means his everything cause that’s the only cloth he wore. And now it was left on the stony ground, Bilbo was pretty much naked from head to toe. He stood proudly in front of Thorin, not ashamed of how he looked, because this is how he wanted the man to see him._

_Bare and honest._

_‘Am I good enough for you?’_

_Sure Bilbo asked it gently, but the sudden jolt of electric shock attacked this gifted heart harsher than before and left him with delicious pain. He closed his eyes, grinning at how Thorin’s emotion became a mess because of him. **Yes** , he took it as confirmation; **I’m good enough, better even**. With that, Bilbo turned and started walking into the water, ‘then I’ll go first…’ he said, knowing that it will take time for the man to change, cause Thorin need to calm the rushed feeling in his vein first. But then he smiled, again the happiness poured into him because of this acceptance._

_…………………………………_

_Meanwhile, Thorin became a statue, a stupid statue after seeing a man’s body. It was_ just another _man, for Mahal sakes, everything was almost the same with him, but the time he saw the cloth fell down, revealing the smooth and milky skin, and all those sparkling, stood out pinkness-es he could only fantasized before, now it was a real deal and Thorin suddenly mourned cause it’s confirmed that there’s no way such beauty existed, there’s no man as perfect as his precious blond._

_‘Hey,’ Thorin startled when he saw Bilbo came out from the water, curly hair damp and body drenched in thousands water drop, ‘the water is nice and warm. Come on in.’ How alluring the voice was, it made Thorin stopped mourning and in no time, he stripped himself from his jacket, shirts, belt, boots, anything… which made Bilbo squealed at seeing him struggling with his full armed clothes. Damn clothes!_

_…………………………………_

_For Bilbo, he’s never aware about how to dress up in a dream. He had to admit he even walked around naked in some of his dreams. Well, maybe that’s because he had insufficient imagination…_

_He swum to the waterfall, exploring the area behind for no reason and found out that there’s only tall wall of rocks, with many roots hanging around. He looked up, tried to see what kind of tree resided up there, but he saw nothing except a hole where sunlight poured into the cave like a spotlight._

_…………………………………_

_‘Lovely.’_

_Thorin smiled when he reached Bilbo, stood behind the lithe body to place kisses around the wet skin. They laughed, as Bilbo shuddered at the touch and Thorin sighed in relief over the sweet scent hitting his nose. It’s still a mystery for him how a dream can be this close to reality, and it made him wondered, what if this is not a dream anymore?_

_Thorin felt his throat became dry._

_‘Don’t think.’ He startled when he heard Bilbo whispered to him, as if the boy can hear his silent question, ‘just feel me…’ Bilbo brought his hand to the chest, let him touch the perky pink nipples, ‘touch me…’ it made the man groaned and pushed Bilbo’s back to the rock a bit rough, but it didn’t stop the boy from talking,_

_‘take me…’_

_…………………………………_

_Bilbo looked up, seeing the nothingness with his hazy eyes when his body got molested in every possible way and every available place. What made him looking back into Thorin’s eyes was the tight hug which trapped him in between cold rock and warm body. It was hurt, but it’s not because the hard rock bruising his skin. It’s when Thorin rubbed their bodies in a slow, torturing motion, fire spread from under his skin and attempted to burn him alive in ecstasy._

_‘Don’t cry…’ Bilbo didn’t even realize he was sobbing until Thorin licked away his tears, ‘don’t cry I'm not going to hurt you…’_

_But Bilbo shook his head, his hands stopped holding into Thorin and covered his eyes, still sobbing, ‘but it’s because you were this gentle to me, because you showered me with love, it’s hurt…it’s hurting me…!’_

_‘I don’t know what to do…’ Bilbo said in grief, ‘I don’t know what to do when I’m not with you anymore…’_

_…………………………………_

_Thorin knew exactly how was it felt and so he kissed his beautiful blond to ease away such insecurity, ‘hey, lovely,’ he called the boy, 'my love, please look at me.’_

_Bilbo looked at him, hazel eyes became glassy because of the tears, but the boy pursed the pink lips, tried hard to be strong and stop crying._

_‘It’s okay’ Thorin smiled, ‘I’m here… as close as possible to where you are…’ he brought the trembled hand of his boy into his left chest, ‘can you feel it?’ he kissed Bilbo’s who shed more tears at hearing their rhythmic heartbeat, ‘we’re here, together, outside and inside each other. Isn’t that perfect?’_

_…………………………………_

_Bilbo stared at Thorin, eyes still showing his wary but his hand now running on Thorin’s lips. He kissed the man, chaste and simple, so he can forget about anything else. But then Thorin took the lead and added a bit of lust, until they were overflowed with passion, until kissing wasn’t enough anymore._

_They wanted more, and they did more._

_Bilbo moaned, when he was flipped so now he was facing the rocks. His hands snaked around the cold surface until he found roots to hold onto, while Thorin kissed and bite his back slight roughly. Deep in his mind, he tried to tell the gorgeous guardian that he was still scared, still worried, but then he only arched his back, letting out the sound of bliss as he felt Thorin filled him, forcing the forbidden pleasure into his body yet there's no unnecessary pain, not even a single regret. All floating in the air was love, and only love escaped from his lips as he cried it out loud._

 

_‘I love you…’ Bilbo shivered hard, he cried harder, when the bigger hands grabbed his grips on the roots, and bigger body covered his back, and the plump lips huskily whispered into his ears,_

_‘And you’re mine…’ Thorin grunted in pain, when he remembered again no matter how real it can be, this is a dream. This is only a dream and he will wake up with the unbearable longing left._

_'You’re only mine.’ The man closed his eyes, enjoying the last scream from his beautiful blond, before it fades away from his mind._

_They can only hope to keep this small trace of love, because no matter how treacherous a dream could be, their love is real._

*

 

Bilbo curled in his bed. It’s another dark, depressing night he had to pass by to see morning again, yet he was freshly awakened with heart stinging at the unreasonable fatigue and embarrassing stain from his dream.

_What a dream_ , he groaned mentally, curled even more because, sure he loved his guardian and the kiss was amazing but he never think it will end this way. To do something so sacred and to share his every weakness to another man and let himself being taken like that…

 

Bilbo blushed.

 

“Aaargh!”

 

He sat up to put his frustration by scratching his head, but then, a sudden pain startled him.

 

Bilbo looked down.

 

“No…!”

 

He shifted, tried to deny any crazy thought came through his mind but he winced, when he can feel it, the satiated muscle pain in his back. It made him slowly getting up from his bed, lithe body shivering in fear as he lowered his PJ’s pants.

 

“No,no,no,no…!”

 

Bilbo frowned, when he saw warm, milk-like substance flowing down from his rear.

 

This is impossible.

 

*

 

Thorin breathed heavily.

 

“Fuck.”

 

Lately he really favored to swear, he said it under his breath as he sat in the middle of bed, sweating and sated yet he’s alone and too lonely to feel this hot. What the fuck happened to me?! he scratched his head frustratingly for not even one thing came through to explain how could he didn't wet himself when he supposed to have a wet dream.

 

“Where did-... you son of the-…” He questioning himself, his dick actually, while searching under the blanket and mapping the sheet.

 

He found nothing.

 

Thorin groaned. He was fucked up, both in regret and happiness. First, it was really happening, and that meant his beautiful stranger existed and lived somewhere in this stupid planet, drenched in cum. Okay, maybe not to that extend, maybe he’s not having any release, or he’s not be able to- wait- he’s a very healthy man. Such kind of option was unacceptable.

 

Thorin decided to believe what happened to him was real.

 

“Damn.” Thorin sighed in defeat, cause now he had an urge to know about this boy, he wanted to know where the boy lives so he can find the blond to explain everything. He’s not a molester, not to a person he didn’t even met, though he already loved with all his might.

 

“I don’t even know him…” the brunette covered his face, so close to crying as his mind recalled back his dream, which was not so imaginary anymore. He could remember every detail of the blond boy, and he sighed again before he opened his eyes, staring at both his trembled hands.

 

He wanted to sleep again.

 

He wanted to see his beauty again.

*


	5. Fantasy

*

Azog Morales hated Thorin Durinson.

No, of course it isn’t like any ‘hate’ as in romcom which often resulted in sexual tension. Or any kind of obsessive hate which turned him into stalker and terrorized the other man’s life, or a psychotic hate which would only be satisfied if he spilled Durin’s blood to the last bit. Actually, Azog simply hated the boss of Durin House, who related to a pair of goblin shits named Feek and Geek –he didn’t know their real name and truthfully he didn’t care- who stole his phone just to hack into his twitter account and change his name into ‘Azog the Defiler’ and changed his bio into ‘Pale-Asses-Orc Captain’.

Standing in front of coffee machine, Azog sighed in defeat.

 

.

 

“Are you making coffee?”

 

“No I’m puking rainbow and shitting unicorn.”

 

Thorin raised an eyebrow at the bald and bulky architect he shared partnership in his design firm. “Did my nephews make fun of you again?” the man asked in low, cautious tone.

Azog grumbled halfheartedly. “Don’t mind it. They’re just kids.”

Thorin wanted to apology, because Fili and Kili was a pair of catastrophe and they’re mercilessly pranked everyone, including him. However, Azog already knew that and he felt useless to repeat sorrow when he couldn’t prevent the boys from doing more mischief in the future. So he only nodded and continued rummaging the upper shelf to find a mug while Azog made the coffee. The silence went for a while, until Thorin suddenly said, “do you mind if I ask something?”

When the man next to him gave a small nod, Thorin took a deep breath and, “what do you think about soulmate?”

The brunette immediately regretted asking, cause then Azog only looked at him wryly while hesitantly guessing with, “kind of… bullshit?”

Thorin could feel his jaw hardened, suddenly wanted to argue with the man that he seriously considered meeting his soulmate through his dreams and he won’t accept it if anyone think differently. However, he’s not the only selfish and ignorant being in this world. He needed to calm his nerve.

“What about the idea of two people connected by a shared dream?” after taking another breath, Thorin began asking again.

Now Azog looked even concerned and Thorin suspected it was somehow related to his mental health, “I dunno…” the man shrugged in honesty, “is it like Harry Potter with Voldemort?”

“No!” Thorin didn’t even realize he was growling at Azog with rage building in his glare, “Let me explain. Hypothetically, there are two people shared a wet dream and when they woke up the feeling is real despite lacking physical evidence.” he knew when he raised his voice he just sound so fucking desperate. “Tell me, is it normal?”

Azog scrunched _his_ face as the man need some time to process the information. Thorin gladly repeated his explanation –now slower- until Azog finally nodded in understanding.

“It’s normal,” Azog smirked nastily, “if both parties were drunk enough to think the intercourse was the part of wet dream.” And when the man heard a series of curses escaped from Thorin lips, the smile only turn gleaming, “ah, so you’re finally knocking up someone.”

Thorin can’t stand it anymore. “No! You saw it from wrong perspective.” He said frustratingly, “These people are not sleeping together. They shared a dream as passionate lovers yet in real life they’re total stranger!”

 

“Thorin, that’s crazy.”

 

“YES!” Thorin bellowed, “That’s what I kept telling myself. Madness was the only reason that makes sense, but in the other side the dreams kept haunting me and kept me longing for the stranger!” 

 

. 

 

Well, that was wicked. 

 

Azog was speechless, had not find any retort to such outburst. He could laugh it out, but it was off his character to care enough with people misery. He had a mountain of problems with his own life already he didn’t need more from others. He was about to point out that Thorin was just tired and suggested the man to take a rest, maybe went drinking or bringing home any lad/lady from night club. But that’s really mainstream advice, so he cleared his throat and muttered,

 

“Is there any proof?”

 

“Excuse me?” Thorin went from fury into dumbstruck in confusion.

 

Azog filled his cup with coffee, “Proof of existence. Any mark or sign from the one you’ve been dream of. Could be hair strand, piece of clothes, anything; if you could have one, then you’ll be sure it’s not the part of delusion.” He put two blocks of sugar into his cup and smiled, “not that I’m an expert in this kind of department. Truthfully I’m as clueless as you. But designer was a dreamer first, and engineer then. Who knows, maybe this stranger and you were match-made by heaven.”

Now it’s a right time for grinning at the young boss, for Thorin was stilled and frowned. Azog tapped the brunette shoulder, before leaving the kitchen with laugh trailed behind him. He might hate the boss to have insolent brats as nephew before, but now he pitied the man for listening and probably believing his crappy advice.

 

*

 

Bilbo hated rain.

His mom used to drag him outside so they could get basked under the freshly cold water and played in the mud. Then dad will fetch them with umbrella and scolded mom for risking Bilbo’s health while in the end of day, Bungo will be the one who catch the cold. It’s one of his sweet memories with his parehts, but past only held grudge to his heart of what he couldn’t have anymore.

Now it’s raining in this part of town, which Bilbo used it as a perfect excuse to skip school and holed in his dad’s great study, accompanied by his laptop and vanilla bubble tea. While browsing online for any theories related to what happened to him, Bilbo traced back the dream from last night and couldn’t help but shuddered in embarrassment. So he did it, having sex for the first time in his sixteen years old life –with a stranger on the top of all- and it happened as the part of a wet dream.

He seriously considered to keep the semen, just for scientific purpose like finding the man by DNA, but he pushed aside the thought, afraid if reality disappointed him or if he only loved the man as the part of his dream.

 

**You bastard** _–_ Andy

 

Bilbo scoffed when a text popped on his cellphone. “Jerk.” He replied, before continued his search.

 

**No, seriously. Today I had to go to history class just to see Ceres and that-plain-guy flirting in front to me for hours! I swear I heard enough of their sex life! Where are you?! You’re supposed to be my friend!’** _–_ Andy

 

Bilbo read the message and chuckled lightly. He shifted from sitting to lie on the long couch, only to wince at the stabbing pain in his back. Ah, right. His throbbing butt. Another evidence of what so called ‘love making’ which turned him girly since morning and want to do nothing aside reminiscing every bit of scenes in the cavern pool, where he was kissed, groped, and loved to every inch of his skin.

_‘You are mine…’_

Bilbo looked at the cloudy sky outside the window. The irritating ache in his back began spreading fire around his skin in response to the swirl of thought. It made his skin itched, pleaded to have his fingers ran on the dryness and Bilbo’s breath labored when he imagined to have the guardian rough hand mapped him, while the low and husky voice kissed his ears, over and again.

_‘You’re only mine.’_

The boy bit his bottom lip, because the words banged right into his mind, repeatedly claimed him to the point it darkened the red blush on his cheeks and building his arousal. His toes curled and his legs spreading in tense. “Ahh!” the teen moaned out the agony and then whimpered at how unfair it was. He wasn’t even touch himself yet and he’s already so close from breaking down…

Another message came to distract him.

 

**DON’T IGNORE MEEEEEEE!!! _–_** Andy

 

Bilbo breathed harshly, “Fuck you, Andy.” He tried to type the words but his fingers trembled. So he ditched his phone and wrapped the hands where they could be more useful. While palming his arousal, Bilbo buckled his hips and closed his eyes…

 

……………………………

 

_‘Ahh!’_

 

_He squirmed at the intrusion. Bilbo blinked just to see naked abs straddled his spreading legs and thrusting into him in wild and fast pace. He looked up and his heart clenched at the sight of his guardian, drilling into him with face contorted in pure bliss. **It felt good** , he scolded himself, he made the man felt good, so why this love making had to bother him so much? _

_‘So deep…’ Bilbo grunted, suddenly he couldn’t control his body when the source of his pleasure kept getting hit mercilessly and with that he screamed, blinded by white light…_

 

……………………………

 

Bilbo lied limply, sated and stained from his fantasy. Slowly, he removed his fingers from his groin, before he used his shirt to clean the mess.

“I’m so pathetic…” He grunted in embarrassment as he got up from the couch, taking his neglected bubble tea and phone on his way back to his bedroom.

Just then, another message popped up.

 

**BB, Andy says he’ll jump out of window if you’re not replying his text** – Ceres

 

“Let him die.” Bilbo was so itched to answer it, but no matter how he tried, he couldn’t be a cruel being so with his _least_ clean hand, the blond called his friend.

“ABOUT THE TIME!” Bilbo winced at hearing loud shriek from the other line, and wisely kept his phone away from his ears until the rants diminished with a grumbling question, _‘what are you doing at home anyway?!’_

Bilbo stared at the phone. Should he tell the truth and let Andy knew he was sore from having fantasy sex with stranger? No, that will be insane. So he wet his lips and muttered a simple, “nothing.” he held his breath, before exhaled them slowly to clear his still dizzy mind and reduced the over-sensitivity from the afterglow, “it’s just, you know, I hate rain.”

 

“Are you a cat?”

 

Bilbo bit the inside of his cheek to prevent a gleaming smile formed on his lips. “No.”

 

“Then you don’t have a reason to hate rain. It’s just water, BB.”

 

“Still hate it.” Bilbo dropped his weight on his bed and stared at the ceiling hazily. “It reminds me of my parents.”

 

If other friends will apology and then drop the topic, Andy would deal with it differently. “Pfft, don’t be ridiculous, hate won’t give peace to your loss.” Bilbo closed his eyes, hurting not from the harshness of words, but because Andy only stated the truth. “Now be prepared. I’m going to pick you up tonight for family dinner in Estate.”

Bilbo smiled. He recalled about Greenwood Forest and the Gondolin Hall where most of family members lived. He always loved Andy’s family for they are a mess of people from many professions. There are politician, actor, wine-taster, sniper, rock-band member, treasure hunter, fortune teller… and when they gathered for dinner, they would boast and had the noisiest chatters about whose job was the best among all.

“You’re not allowed to drive, Andy.” Bilbo chuckled. He always anticipated any meeting with Andy’s family. “Except if your parents let you ride an Elk.”

“Who said I’m driving? I’m having Finn as my personal driver.” Bilbo cleared his throat in discomfort at the mention of name. Glorfindel ‘Finn’ Greenwood was Andy’s older brother who was now going to college in Rivendell Uni. When Finn graduated and left Shire two years ago, Bilbo was relieved because he had crush on the older while in the same time trying to keep straight for the sake of his father’s public image. There’s only brotherly love for Finn now, though he’s still a queer folk and apparently dating an imaginary handsome stranger.

Still, old crush would edge anyone with unnecessary nervousness so he scowled, “I hope you’re not trying to match-make me with your brother again.”

“Disgusting creature!” Bilbo almost laughed at imagining how his friend looked right now, “is that what you’re thinking about me?!”

“If it’s not the case then I’m fine going.”

“Who said I gave you choice? You’ll be going, man, like it or not.”

 

………………………………..

 

_Thorin spread his gaze through the room. It’s a typical classic bedroom with framed wall and carved wood furniture. He was thinking to move his legs and roam around but then a figure emerged from a door, made him stricken by the sight of his beautiful stranger wandering only in a very innocent Spiderman boxer._

_The man blushed, reminded himself of his own foolishness to dare loving the blond and bonded into a passionate love making with the said boy. Mahal, he’s not a pedophile! The boy might be in the same age with his nephews!_

 

‘Maybe this stranger and you were match-made by heaven…’

 

_The words startled Thorin. Whether it’s the truth or not, the words helped calming his panicked heartbeat so he could use this opportunity to study about the boy. He realized, the boy didn’t aware of his presence and he couldn’t explain whether it’s an act of ignorance or if this is a one-way dream._

“BB…” _He muttered the name and something strange happened. The boy suddenly tensed and then turned at his direction with clueless expression. Thorin was stunned too to find such reaction. However, before he could say more, the world around him swirled and he was pulled back to where he belongs…_

 

……………………………….. 

 

“BB…”

 

Bilbo snapped. Here he stood in the middle of wearing his trousers when he heard a familiar voice called his name. He turned at the direction of his four poster bed and for a moment he only stared in wait. Speculations flashed in his mind, but none really gave pleasing answer so he decided to think it as a part of delusion. He fantasized about the man this morning, so it’s only normal if he had desire to have his name called in such loving tone.

Bilbo recalled the whisper, over and again.

Oh, how he wished to trade anything to be loved like in his dream.

 

*


	6. Gondolin Hall

*

Bilbo was surprised with himself when he managed to stay calm as he faced Finn again and attacked by the dazzling charisma of older Greenwood sibling. Well, maybe his heart wrenched slightly when Finn took him into a tight hug, but he kept his excitement low by scolding his little slutty heart that he’s already taken. And if his biased judgment matters, the man in his dream was ten…no, ten thousands time better than anyone he ever had crush with, including Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne. And no, he wasn’t fancied them because they’re handsome, rich and sarcastic.

As he entered Gondolin Hall with Andy and Finn, he realized it’s not a simple dinner like he had been informed. It’s a damned themed party and he felt so out of place wearing formal shirt and knitted red sweater and dark blue jeans where everyone dressed like characters from RPG game. There are a group of Hunters which was equipped with their hunting gears, Knights (fully armored and they even had swords!), then there are also kinky version of Barmaids, Acolyte, Warlocks, to the point Bilbo can’t stay looking at the crowds without blushing.

 

“What the hell are you bringing me into?!” He hissed at Andy, as he was dragged by the sibling to their room. “You said it’s a family dinner.”

“It is.” Andy opened the drawer and pulled out some grandiose clothings, before the boy started stripping from his shirt and pants, “It’s just, my mom and dad brought an architectural team from Erebor to discuss the planning on Lothlorien Park, so my Grandparents had obligation to widen the invitation to our family friends, colleagues, public figures…”

“And you know our family, Bilbo dear.” Behind him, Finn also started changing clothes into a white and gold knee-length tunic and soil brown leggings, “we’ve never throw a boring, formal party.”

“Yes, because all of you are wicked!” Bilbo hissed and he demanded it was not because he just saw Finn only in boxer and he was fluttered at the pleasing sight. Damn. How many times he had to tell himself that he’s already had boyfriend, no matter if it was real or not.

“Come on BB don’t be such a jerk…” When Bilbo returned to see Andy, he was left gaping at the blond’s costume. If Finn dressed in simple medieval Elven Knight, then Andy really made effort to put kingly coat outside his tunic and the boy even wore long blond wig and a crown. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

 

Bilbo will be dumb if he believed it. But he could do nothing aside slumping on the bed and sighed heavily, “I want to go home…” He muttered before adding mentally, _and went to sleep, and see if I could meet my handsome stranger and having another beautiful dream of stars and sky and sea and spark of love we shared in between our locked gaze..._

 

“Listen BB," Finn knelt in front of him, snapped him back from his fantasy, "we don’t mean to judge but personally we think you grieved enough and you deserved some happiness.” said the boy gently while tapping his tensed shoulder. For a moment Bilbo was hurting, to have Finn so close yet not the stranger in his dream. He almost laughed in mock to himself at how desperate he was to meet his guardian. However, he was also scared to face the horror of reality.

 

Bilbo was officially fucked up.

 

He never wanted to grow love to anyone after his parents’ death, yet now he became so _teenage_ and grudgingly had to admit how fucked it was to be drowned in love.

 

“Of course, if you want to go home, I’ll drive you back to Hobbiton. But I suggested you stayed at least for the feast.” Kindly, the older blond smiled and reluctantly it softened Bilbo expression from a fierce frown into a silly scowl.

“If it’s just for the feast, then I’ll stay.” he said, and immediately added a cautious glare when he saw Andy smiled gleamingly in front of tall mirror, “and no, I know what you’re thinking, Andy. No costume for me.”

“But Bilboooo….” Andy pretended to pout, “We made _it_ especially for youuuu…”

“Stop it you disgusting creature.” Bilbo spat, but his wide grin showed only light annoyance towards the younger Greenwood, “what the hell anyway you dressed so heavily? Are you a Queen?”

 

“So rude.” Andy shot him a dirty look, “I’m King Thranduil, the Ruler of Greenwood.”

 

“You’ve better not wearing flowery wreath, then. Anyone would think you’re the Bride of the Day.”

 

“It’s my summer crown. I made it myself.”

 

Bilbo turned at Finn, signing a concern for Andy’s health to the brother who only answered with a shrug and a light chuckle. He decided to return watching Andy strutted in front of mirror. Deep in thought, Bilbo admitted that Finn was right. He should be grateful with the invitation and the excitement for this party. He deserved happiness even if he’s just as prideful as any Baggins who ashamed to have flaws and having such weakness as in being human.

“Hhhh…” He took another long sigh, drawing attention from the blond siblings in the room. But when his head rose to face them, he smiled beamingly, “thank you.” He said while titling his head and chuckled lightly, “Up until now, I’ve never understand the value of me to you.” He pointed the words to Andy, who paused and frowned at him. “But you are so kind to me, in your own way. So, thank you, Andy for staying in my side.”

 

The words succeed rendered Andy speechless that Bilbo shared mischievous grin to Finn and then laughed together with the older blond.

 

“Shall we?” Finn gave him a hand and he squealed as he took it. Leaving Andy wide-eyed and mouth agape, they walked out the bedroom and onto the Great Hall where the party held.

 

*

 

“Thorin…”

 

“Go away.”

 

Aragorn stared at his brooding brother with pity. The man was curled inside guest bedroom of Gondolin Hall, muttering something about _‘stupid dream’_ and _‘stupid insidious ability’_ , which resulted in bad mood for the entire night. He stepped inside the room even further, his metal clad clanked every time he walked and he suffered from heat stroke inside this ridiculous costume so he didn’t want to suffer this alone. Azog already dressed as pirate –serious it’s just wearing leather pants and boots- so Aragorn didn’t have slightest idea why he had to be a knight in shining armor. He didn’t have costume and resigned his fate to Mrs. Greenwood who happened to be a professional stylist, and decided to torture him with full armored suit.

 

“Brother.” he took a deep breath, “you can’t do this. Stubbornness was running down in our veins, but you’re the leader of our company, for the good sakes, be a man and face your duty!”

 

“Going to party wasn’t my duty.” Thorin snapped and Aragorn twitched his head, wished to be a firstborn so he didn’t have to witness such immaturity from the man who supposed to be his role model after the death of their father. Yes, Thorin was a very responsible and professional to his work but the man was also unimpressed to anything else and cold to anyone outside _his_ little circle of family. That’s why Azog and Smaug did the most talking and schmoozing and socializing.

“They’re our client.” Aragorn tried to reason even when his voice coming out as guttural growl, “They paid us to come here and they held party to impress us. They even prepare costume for you!” and the youngest Durin bellowed while pointing at a midnight blue outfit hung on a wall. “You should be grateful, Thorin, they didn’t dress you in layered shirts and chainmail!”

 

Thorin stared at the costume then moved his gaze to glance at Aragorn. “No.” _he_ deadpanned.

 

Aragorn sighed loudly. He began undressed from his mail, with Thorin watched in a mix of surprise and then interest. “I hated my job.” The young one muttered under his breath, “ _‘Estel my dear, I know you’ve had your final soon, but could you tag along with your brother?’_ ” He quoted their mother’s words in mock, “ _‘I’m worried with him. He had a gentle heart, but he could also be too hard on judging people. Please, watch him for your Amad?_ ’ and so I had to be here, babysitting 26 years old stubborn man who couldn’t even put a smile on his sorry face!”

When he’s done, Aragorn was changed into Thorin’s costume. Finally, he could breathe again. He took a quick check up on mirror before leaving the bedroom, slamming the door as loud as he could.

 

*

 

So far, Bilbo enjoyed himself at the banquet table, after exchanging greet with a bunch of Greenwood hosts, thanked them for the invitation and praised them for such grand party and apologized for his humble clothing. But Granny Greenwood hugged him and said that since he was adorable, he was forgiven. In no time, he was escorted to banquet table and requested to eat as many as he could.

 

A Took never turned down a challenge and Bilbo was proudly half a Took.

 

So he walked from end to end while piling up his plate, just to return a moment later -in reverse- to fill his second plate. He was just walking back to a seat in a corner, when he saw a man occupied his chair and broodingly stared at the commotion. Bilbo eyed the taken spot with disappointment, but he was still approaching because he believed he needed the chair more since he had plentiful food in his plate and the man had nothing except hard gaze and curt lips.

 

“Excuse me.” He scowled lowly, “can I borrow your seat-…”

 

Yet when the man looked up, Bilbo frowned in shock.

 

It’s him.

 

It’s him.

 

It’s him.

 

_YES IT’S HIM!_ His heart shouted to stop the useless chants hacked his now frozen mind. _STOP BEING A FOOL AND START WORKING!_ And with that Bilbo startled, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean…”

 

“It’s you.” the man whispered in recognition and Bilbo’s heart collapsed, bringing down his plate to crash on the floor and soon his limp body drifted into unconsciousness.

 

 

*


	7. Limbo

**#5: Limbo**

 

*

 

_Thorin frowned._

 

_White sand tickled under his bare feet as he stood out in the middle of borderless beach. Stung was all he felt, when he raised his gaze to see the winter sea. He’d been here before, he remembered. It’s named Misty Beach, located in Northern Erebor. His family owned the area for it was sold to them in such cheap price, since the beach was too chilly and monochromatic-ly boring, and no one really came for leisure, even in summer._

_Unsure of why he was here while he was supposed to be somewhere in Middle Continent, surrounded by forests and ridiculous party, Thorin decided to take a stroll, wandering in the place he always loved for its eerie quietness and freezing cold weather._

 

_‘How nice of you to join us, Guardian.’_

_He startled to hear low and soft murmur greeting him. He looked at the source of voice and saw figures sat on the sand, facing the vast ocean. One was an old-man, hair as white as snow and face contorted in content smile. But what really caught Thorin attention was the small body rested its head on the man’s lap, with a mop of curly golden hair and familiar sleeping face. He muttered the boy’s name under his breath as he approached them and sank to his knees in whisper, ‘what…’ he stretched his hand but not quite touching the boy yet, ‘what’s happen to him? Is he okay?’ he asked the oldman wryly._

_‘Ah…’ the oldman smiled down at the sleeping blond, ‘okay wasn’t really an exact word to call his state. If ‘okay’ means he was safe from any physical danger then he was okay. But that’s not the case here.’ Thorin furrowed his eyebrows, quite sure there’s irritation built in him to hear indirect answer. What’s wrong with having simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’?_

_But he knew better than complained for such trivia thing. He needed to know what’s wrong with the boy and he’ll endure anything to get information. ‘So what is it?’ he asked with a low hiss, had not meant to offend because that’s how he treated any stranger. Cold and judging._

 

_The oldman still had this serene look on him, but the eyes narrowed cautiously for his ungrateful response. ‘Do you aware, young guardian, this is a world of dream?’_

_Thorin nodded._

_‘Then you must be wondering, why your Intruder sleeps in his dream?’_

_‘Because he was awake in real world?’ Thorin guessed and had blushed in embarrassment for such lame answer._

_The oldman chuckled so slightly and surprisingly it was full with pity. ‘No, he’s not. You’ve both arrived in the realm of Limbo. This is the deepest layer of dream and it is a dangerous place to sleep in for the soul will easily get lost and the body dropped in comatose.’ The oldman sighed morosely, ‘and that’s why he’s not okay.’_

_Thorin looked at the figure, ‘then why are we here?’ he asked. His voice was low and rugged because of overwhelming emotions tried to break out from the cage of his heart._

_‘On your part, it’s greed ruling in your self-conscious. You are an artist, you designed future in your dream and so your ambition forced your mind to wander layers upon layers the realm of dream until there’s only a thin line between real life and illusion.’ The oldman then stared at the boy again while whispering softly, ‘on his part, it’s grief that taking control his self-conscious. It’s not enough that he lost so much that he made it worse to fight back tears and just not let it go. That’s why he was trapped in nightmares and constantly seeking for solace.’ An appreciated smile formed on the oldman lips,_

_‘He found you, though.’ There’s twinkle of amusement in the elder gaze, now addressed to the dumbfounded Thorin who could do nothing aside pursed his lips and frowning more. ‘Breaking the rule of the realm and invading one’s private space. He desperately seek out your help and amazingly, you resonated to his distress by became his guardian. I had to say it was magnificent for the bond you created in between your souls broke the impossibility of turning your dreams physical.’_

_So that’s why they could feel the trace of love in their awakening._

_‘Then, what’ll happen to us? Are we supposed to stay here or should I do something to wake him up?’_

_‘Oh, he’ll wake up, eventually. That’s why I say he’s okay.’ the oldman said, ‘but none of you can stay. It’s not the world for living soul. There’s only emptiness and hollow, so I suggested you leave this instant.’_

_‘But how?’ Thorin looked around, ‘there’s nothing to lead us to any exit-…’ but then his eyes widened to see a gun was given to him, ‘what do you want me to do?’_

 

_‘Kill him.’ The oldman said, pointed a gaze at the sleeping blond._

 

_…………………………………_

 

_Bilbo eyes shot opened at the banging sound, and then he winced at the indulging pain hit his skull. But as he sat up abruptly, he realized he was sitting on shaking rock, while the world was shaded in heating red and grey smoke._

 

_He frowned._

 

_Bilbo was surrounded by thick lava which flowing down from the peak of menacing dark mountain. He shivered in horror. Never thought nightmares will catch him again, not with his guardian around. But as boulder by boulder of huge rocks began rolling down and hissing when they dipped into the bubbling hot lava, tears began swelling under his eyes. ‘Help…’ he cried hoarsely, as the border of stream cornered him, slowly, yet ready to swallow him into the burning agony, ‘please… wherever you are… help me…’ he began sobbed and then silenced when a big rock smashed right on his curling figure_.

 

_…………………………………_

 

_Thorin gasped._

 

_He could never explain how painful it was to have been smashed flat to the ground. He groaned, sure it’ll be the most horrifying memory he had to bear forever. But that’s not the case. Here he was floating on the water and he found nowhere to go. He took a deep breath, recalled again the conversation with the Guide, and how important it was to die in order to escape Limbo._

 

_He looked around. How exactly he has to kill himself?_

 

_For a while, there’s nothing to answer his silent question. However then, a giant figure emerged from the water and Thorin gaped to see a water dragon hissing and growling at him. He was about to swim, running for his life, but he was too late. The slithering beast caught him between its teeth and ended his life by loud sound of crunching bones._

 

_…………………………………_

 

Bilbo woke up screaming. He cried out as his body was taken into a tight embrace and still sobbing mournfully as he heard low whisper of, ‘easy there’ and ‘calm down’ and ‘you’ll be okay’. He clung to the figure and let his body melted into the tight hug. _What had happened?_ He asked himself, _why am I crying and why can’t I stop it?_

“It’s okay, BB…” he heard the figure called his name and with that memory rushed back in. Frowning, Bilbo released from now loosened hug and stared at the man in caution. He shuddered slightly, refused to believe this stranger was the one who shared dream with him. The long face and sharp jaw, the narrow yet high pointy nose, the thin lips surrounded by dark stubble, it’s all the same as his memory. Even with the scent and the built.

 

But the eyes were grey.

 

It’s not his guardian. He was sure of it.

 

He might act on impulse before, because it’s dimmed around the hall and the man looked astonishingly similar to his guardian. And the man recognized him, that was what important. The man knew his name even though he had not remembered telling it.  


 

But it’s not _him._

 

“Who are you?” He asked while prying himself further from the man and realized they were sharing space in this long couch of the sitting room. “Why do you know me?”

“Relax.” The man said softly, “I don’t mean to scare you. You fainted in the hall and I brought you here so you can rest. As for why I know you, it’s because-…”

“BB!” Andy and Finn rushed into the door, each of them ditched their party outfit and approached him along with their cousin Lynn who worked as resident in Greenwood Hospital. “Thank Valar you finally awake. Granny was scared near death when she saw you fell to the floor, thinking it’s the food which poisoned you down.” the tall blond kneeled in front of the chair and cupped his face, “are you dizzy? Do you remember me? I’ll kill you if you dare forgetting your only friend.”

“Andy…” Finn tapped Andy’s shoulder, ushered the worried blond away so Lynn could examine Bilbo thoroughly.

While answering the question from the medic, Bilbo saw the stranger brunette quietly stand and exchanged few words with Finn. As the man headed out from the room, _he_ took a last glance at Bilbo, before disappeared to the hallway, leaving Bilbo to guess by himself of who’s the man was and why so similar to his guardian.

“He’s fine.” Lynn stood, his face scrunched in forever cringe as _he_ muttered flatly, “he’s just tensed and nervous, that’s all. So now, can I go back to party? I promised my blondie there’ll be no work for us tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah, go away.” Andy dismissed the older man, which gained him a smack on his blond locks for his rudeness before the cousin walked away from the room.

 

“Are you really okay now?” Andy sat next to Bilbo, and it drew a small chuckle to form on the smaller boy,

“Eru, stop worrying you sounded like my dad.”

“I don’t care.” Surprisingly, Andy answered it firmly. “I am worry about you, because you’re a little piece of shit who didn’t know how to treat yourself with justice.”

Bilbo smile faltered and he averted his gaze from irritating Andy and stared at the wall instead. He hated getting scolded, and hating himself more because he was happy for such grand attention given to him. “I’m not doing injustice to myself.” He defended himself, “I know my boundary.”

“Good.” When he thought Andy will offend him more, the boy tapped his shoulder instead and nodded in agreement, “now let us take you home, BB. I’m suddenly in urge to sleepover and watching _Hentai_.”

Bilbo groaned, “Not again! Why you must watch ‘ _hentai anime’_ in my house?!”

“So you prefer _yaoi_ , then?” Finn snickered and all of sudden Bilbo blushed in rueful shame. Of course, his queerness was partially blamed to these siblings who introduced him to Japanese culture and stuffed him with soft-version ‘sex education’ in the similar form of children’s cartoon. Not that he hated it.

“It’s funny to watch your reaction.” Andy said in concern, “if only you don’t have dick you might be sixteen and pregnant now. With our kids.”

Finn barked a laugh.

Bilbo smacked the younger Greenwood in the head. “Excuse me but I decided I’m not going anywhere with you two around. I’m going to call Hamfast to pick me up.” while mentioning the name of his caretaker, Bilbo thought it’s probably the best idea. Not that he believed the crap said by Andy before, but he knew the value of time when it came to family and he didn’t want to excuse the siblings from the party when the night still young.

Andy snorted, “it’s so you to believe I’m such a predator.”

“So what?” Bilbo shrugged, “It’s so me to protect my dignity from you, now I know your real intention.”

“Please.” Andy rolled his eyes, but the boy didn’t argue more. Andy was just that sensible to know the right time to pry and the right time to retreat. Though Finn was confused as why he pulled out his cell from pocket and texted Hamfast Gamgee, the older did the wise thing not to question. They only lingered in the room for the next half-an-hour in wait for Hamfast’s arrival, talking about school and soccer match and listening to Andy’s bicker about Elrond and Ceres. The boy still held grudge with the story _he_ heard in history class, of how delightful Ceres was to have another date with Elrond and can’t wait to spend the rest of weekend waking up in the brunette’s strong arms.  


“They are so disgusting.” Andy cringed. “Not Ceres. Ceres is always beautiful. Elrond is disgusting scum.”

 

Bilbo and Finn exchanged gaze and sighed in chorus.

“What?” Andy caught that and looked in between them in alert.

“Maybe it’s the time to move on.” Bilbo whispered.

“Riiiiight,” Finn nodded, “you’ve been crushing her since when? Kindergarten? Maybe it’s time to find someone else who might love to wake up in your arms, instead.”

“What? Do you think Ceres didn’t want to wake up in my arms? Are they not bulky enough? Should I work up more?”

“Dude.” Bilbo laughed in defeat, “You’re so pathetic.”

 

*

 

When Aragorn was back to his shared room with Thorin, he saw his brother sat by open window, smoking. The young Durin raised an eyebrow at finding his brother in such strange condition. Sure he lived long enough with his brother to know it well Thorin didn’t smoke. But to witness the stormy face from Thorin, he decided to slip in and changed his costume in silence. He thought about what had happened in the party. Who he had met and how it troubled his heart. He should tell Thorin he met BB yet half of him didn’t want to share his knowledge to his brother just yet.

 

Who’s the boy?

 

He knew it’s wrong to get interested in someone’s beloved. His brother’s beloved, on the top of all. But reasoning that he didn’t have romantic interest, _yet_ , he took the liberty to trace again the beauty of the boy. Even until this moment, he was still shivering to find such beauty on a human being. The boy was beautiful, his brother was unmistakably one lucky guy to have someone so lovely to hold. And the scrumptious reminder of the painting when he saw the boy naked and submitted to Thorin, clenched his heart hard. If that’s what happened and Thorin already held the boy entirely, he could do nothing than bleeding in jealousy.

He was jealous, but he assured himself, it’s because he wanted to love someone like that too. He wished to make someone laid beneath him and only gave him trustful gaze when they make love. Eru, he wanted to make love! He’d never make love in his life before, not to any date he brought to his bed and definitely not when he finished himself off in the shower.

 

“Fuck.”

 

Aragorn slowly retreated to the bathroom, cursing at the growing pleasure piling up in his groin. He’s better not hard because of BB, because that’ll be the end of him. He’ll fall in love, and he’ll break up into sanity to love someone who doesn’t belong to him.

 

.

 

“Fuck.”

 

Thorin eyed his little brother for such random curse. His mouth opened to throw a joke about it, but considering Aragorn was pissed with him before, he took it the young one might still raging from his stupid stunt before. He only watched Aragorn walked briskly to the bathroom, and then decided to put off the cigarette –he stole it from Smaug’s luggage- and walked out from the bedroom.

So he was just escaped Limbo, and he had no fucking idea what to do now. Questions began swirling in his mind, demanded him to decide whether he should search the blond or cease it and move on with his life. His love for BB encouraged him to find a way to connect with the blond without the aid of dream. His rationality laughed it out and said it’s too impossible thing to do.

 

But had their soul already bonded? Then at some point, their physical will draw to each other and even without them knowing, they’ll find their way to meet in real life.

 

Again, the cold side in his mind snorted, teasing him to stop dreaming and wake up.

 

Thorin seriously considered planning a surgery to remove the rationality from him. Maybe then he’ll be living in slight peace.

 

“Hhhh…” he arrived at the back of the Hall, where there’s a lake named Esgaroth. Across the lake, there stood Lothlorien, formerly owned to Lorien family and now sold to Shire government and managed by Greenwood Foundation to be built as Fairy Park. He was still thinking the whole idea was crazy. He saw the sketch from former architect and city council, Mr.Baggins, and he was sure if the man still alive he’ll complain face to face at how impossible it was to build a _Talan_ without wasting so much money.

He expressed his distress to Mr.Greenwood, but simply got answer, _‘money wasn’t a problem, Mr.Durinson. Just please do your work accordingly to the design.’_ that he was sure it’ll make Sauron and those engineers in Mordor Construction would kill to dodge the job of making the structural and costs estimation.

 

Maybe he should just go with rationality and forget the blond.

 

Yet his heart punished him with stabbing beats.

 

“BB…” He watched the reflection of summer night sky on the mirror-like surface of the lake, “where are you?”

 

*

 

_‘Where are you?’_

Bilbo paused. Here he walked at the hallway within his friends. Hamfast already waited him outside the house, yet he felt so heavy in his chest. There’s something he missed. He shouldn’t leave. And if the closest thing he could come up as conclusion to this discomfort was the mystery around the brunette guy from before, he intended to meet the man again at least to hear the explanation which had been cut by his friends attendance.

“Finn, who’s the dark haired man from before?” He abruptly asked, since he saw the man exchanged words with the older blond.

“You mean Aragorn? He’s coming with the Ereborian architects. He’s sort of a part-timer in Durin’s House, he said, and-…”

“Did he stay here?”

Finn gave unsure nod.

“What’s wrong, Bilbo?” Andy threw him a suspicious look, “don’t say you’re having a thing for brunette too!”

“Shut up, Andy.” Bilbo couldn’t believe Andy still onto this ‘Ceres preferred brunette than blond’ thing. He ignored his now sulking friend and focused onto Finn, “where I could find him?”

 

“In the guest quarter.” And without wasting more time, Bilbo turned and run. He heard Andy shouted something he didn’t care enough to listen. He only made his way through the corridors and rooms, passing the Great Hall and just then stopped abruptly in front of an open door to the backyard.

 

There’s only weak moonlight basking on the lake.

But there’s a shadow of man standing near and Bilbo didn’t have idea what possessed him to walk out the hall and approached the figure. He cleared his throat, tried to stop his heart from the hammering thump yet every time he gasped of air he only get more suffocated.

 

He knew this person.

 

This is the presence he always drawn to.

 

This is the shadow he long for.

 

This is the one he loved.

 

“Excuse me…” when their distance got near and nearer, his tortured mind couldn’t stand guessing anymore and decided to speak up, “have we met before?”

And when the man jolted from hearing his voice and turned at him in shock, Bilbo knew he’s not mistaken anymore.

 

*

 


	8. My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning: a lot of feels

 

*

 

**“** Have we met before?”

__

_**[I was mesmerized by the mysterious you and stared at you and had my one soul stolen]** _

If this was another dream, Thorin would really drive himself to the nearest asylum, and lived the rest of his days as lobotomized vegetable. Mahal was so cruel, to give him this beautiful nightmare while he went enough tortures in limbo or rather being merciful, to know there’s only little sanity left in his mind so his Maker kindly brought BB to easily walk into his life.

“BB…” He muttered the name and the boy frowned. What? Thorin asked himself in panic. Did he say it wrong? Or the boy expected wrong person? But this is his Intruder, he can make sure of it. He knew those hazel eyes, sparkled always with pure love and ultimate trust. He recognized those pouty lips which always haunted his dreams by the softness and warmth. He knew the lithe feature of the boy and he knew every sweet spot from the youth no matter how creepy he sounded now.

 

This was the one he loved.

 

He would never be mistaken.

__

_**[Wherever you came from, or wherever you’re going, up until now you always kindly greet me]** _

 

“Yes…” so when the boy smiled, Thorin felt his heart collapsed. “That was my name...” and when the smile faltered into a shy scoff, Thorin had to clench his palms in order to keep himself from jumping at the boy. He should, he would, but he couldn’t find it right when his lover was actually a teenager.

But he wanted to touch BB, his BB, so bad, so he gritted the desire between his teeth and stretched his hand, “I’m Thorin Oakenshield Durinson.” He blushed in shame, didn’t find it relevant to tell the boy his full name in such majestic manner. Why don’t they just return to medieval age where he would introduce himself as, ‘Thorin, Son of Thrain, Son of Thror, King of Nervous Wreck’?

“Oh.” The boy hurriedly walked closer and shook his hand firmly in which Thorin had an urge to groan and moan when the wind blew at his direction, bringing the scent he loved and long for the last few weeks.

“My name is Bilbo Baggins.” The boy greeted him with a breathless laugh, “but you can call me BB.”

_**[Because I am completely drunk at your presence, I even forgot how to breathe]** _

_Yavanna blessed me!_

 

Bilbo kept chanting the praises for the Valar, to give him such a meaningful life though not the most beautiful one as he always prayed for. Okay, the last six months were the worst could happen to a young boy. He lost his parents, almost get adopted into Sackville-Baggins family, and had to sell many of his dad’s properties in order to keep Bag End as it is. There also the nightmares and fear of the dark, which magically brought him to meet his Guardian, first in the dream and now in real life.

He studied the man and had his breath hitched in a blast of happiness. The right eyes, the right nose, the right scowl, the right frown, the right jaw shape, it’s the right person in everything and Bilbo couldn’t be happier. He wanted to laugh and jumped and screamed and yelled because here they are, as real as they could be.

“It’s…” he gasped another breath, scolding himself mentally for holding it for a long minute. “It’s…” he even get embarrassingly hyperventilated that the man scooted close to rub his back in such a calming way. No, the touch get him no better, “It’s…” it only brought tears to pop and suddenly drenched his face into a stream of loud cry, “It’s… I’m sorry…” he reached the front of the man’s sweater and immediately buried his body into the sturdy and broad chest, “I love you…” he sobbed it out, because they were real, this is really happening, and he loved it to know he didn’t regret to find the man, “I love you I love you I love you I love you…”

__

_**[Like this love, without even me knowing, comes and finds me unexpectedly]** _

“Please stop saying that.”

Bilbo tensed. With the shadow of broken heart looming on his face, he looked up just to see into Thorin’s miserable face. “Why?” He whispered absently, couldn’t just accept it if he was rejected, “You don’t want me?”

Thorin cringed. “No!” and Bilbo startled when he was hauled into a tight hug, “Mahal I want you more than anything else in this world!” like electric shock the words smeared through his skin, made him dry and thirsty over the man, “but look at you, BB! You’re young and beautiful and delightful and I’ll be damned if I think you wanted an oldman like me! So don’t say love that easily, you know I’ll be sent into jail to return you feeling.”

It set him into daze, as he tried to recall the words being spoken by Thorin and absorbed it into his currently hazy mind slowly. He only blinked, let the ticklish feel bubbled in his stomach before a content smile dominated his face. Thorin was right, he told himself. Of course, the man would worry about norm first thing of all, about how he might freak out to have been sleeping with adult despite their fond love to each other.

And of course, Bilbo wouldn’t care.

He had no parents to get scolded by, no social status to worry, and definitely no objection to have a tall and build, dark sexy brunette with the most beautiful blue eyes as lover. So he embraced the man, returned the favor of calming Thorin’ tensed back with soft brush and low whisper, “I don’t mind.” He said, “I will still love you whoever you are, no matter how wicked or wrong it was to be your lover.”

_**[Even if the world ends, I’ll follow you from behind so don’t go out my sight]** _

 

Thorin loosened the hug, not as a gesture of rejection, but he needed to see into Bilbo’s eyes to make sure if this is what the boy wanted. “I can’t give you love.” He said solemnly, “I can’t give you love without giving you everything. So if you think loving is easy, then…”

“Shut it out.” The boy tiptoed, probably attempted to shut him with a kiss but sadly Thorin was too tall and the lips only reach his stubbed jaw. So adorable, his heart throbbed in many naughty thought when he saw Bilbo eyed him with annoyance. “We made it out in our dream. Why you had to make it hard in real life?”

“Because you’re too honest,” Thorin sighed, “and too lovely. I’m afraid I’ll lose my mind.”

“Come on.” Bilbo groaned, “We already have sex!” and when Thorin could do nothing aside tucked his head down in shame, the boy palmed his front sweater, “don’t tell me you regretted it, because I swore to Valar…”

 

“Are you hurt?”

 

**_[Because you’re my beautiful and only love]_ **

 

Bilbo took a deep breath, before he leaned close and rested his head on Thorin’ chest. He said nothing then, let the music from the party drifted into the night. He stayed, stubbornly placed himself where Thorin couldn’t deny. And the man was really just a liar, because when his fingers slowly ran on the built chest, he could feel the suffocating breath and the rushing heartbeat, signing that he was loved, he was needed, he was wanted and he was treasured dearly.

“You love me.” He chuckled in conclusion.

“I’m sorry.” Thorin replied wryly.

“I forgive you.” Bilbo looked up and gave the man the most mischievous gaze a Took could give, “now, are you going to keep rejecting me, or we can make it up with kiss? I really loved your lips and I wonder if it tasted the same like in our dream…” and he was only warned with a low growl before his skinny figure hauled and lifted to hover from the land, so their gaze could meet and their lips could melt.

 

*

 

Thorin woke up hearing the sound of giggle.

“…I told you I’m sorry, Andy. I don’t mean to just ‘disappear’ and screwed the party just because Hamfast got panic and searched me around the party guests…” He scrunched his eyebrows at the unfamiliar ceiling and the unfamiliar warmth pressed to his side. He looked down, just to see a mop of golden hair belongs to his beautiful intruder, Bilbo. “…and let’s blame that to Granny too, she think I’ve got kidnapped and called police! I’m just taking stroll near the lake, for the goodness sake!”

Thorin shifted and hugged the cute being, whined pleasingly under his breath when Bilbo reacted by hugging him back, “and please don’t judge my Thorin just because he was brunette and handsome… WTF?! So what if I had older lover? I’m sixteen and in some Southern Districts I’m legal to marry…” Thorin tightened his hug, didn’t care if he was being judged as possessive oldman aside a shameless pedophile and pervert.

“You know what? I’m done talking to you. I had better thing to do, like ‘spending my weekend waking up in my man’s arm’…” Bilbo smirked, pleased to hear loud shriek of curses as reaction. “No, I’m not going to have sex again…just, bye!”

With that the boy threw away his phone and looked up at Thorin, “morning.”

Thorin answered him with a curt nod. “You’re a little devil.”

“So what?” Bilbo sat up, wide smile still decorating _his_ face. Thorin eyed the bare back intensely, felt the arousal pooled in his groin to see the spreading kiss marks colored the pale skin. Unconsciously he ran his hand on each mark, feeling the texture beneath his fingertips and smiled when Bilbo answered it by low moan of his name.

“Thorin…”

Up until now, he never felt so thankful to be named at such. His name sounded so serene and beautiful when Bilbo was the one chanted it.

“I love you.” He answered the calling by following the boy sitting and wrapped the lithe body into a loving back hug, “I don’t know what will happen to us from now on, Bilbo, but I promised to never stop loving you.”

Bilbo didn’t answer just yet. The boy shifted and turned to occupy the empty place on his lap, “good.” whispered the boy into his lips, “because I promise I will never let you go.”

They kissed and then grinned at how cheesy this morning turned be, at least until they heard the bell rang from the front door and the gleam of peace altered into a moment of panic. Thorin almost stumbled with face first to the floor in search for pants. Bilbo jumped from bed and whined at the irritating trace of their love making. Thorin gathered him and carried him to the daybed near the window, and then began helping him to dress.

“I think I’m getting used to have you around.” Bilbo cupped the man’s face, showering kisses on Thorin now reddened cheeks over such gentle praise, “please rest more. I’m gonna get us breakfast and see who’s on the door.”

“Don’t overdo yourself.” Thorin muttered in worry. “I knew it hurts.”

“No.” Bilbo stood, “Nothing about your love will hurt me.”

Okay, so Thorin didn’t expect the real Bilbo was actually an amazing being. Sweet, innocent and adorable was could be easily seen from the appearance and gestures. However, the boy was also honestly tough and strong-willed and stubborn as hell, which ashamed Thorin to look so weak and vulnerable despite him being the adult in this relationship.

He got up and cleaned up, before walking out from the bedroom only in his jeans and began looked around the arched hall. It’s a big mansion for living alone and Thorin itched to ask about Bilbo parents. So far he only met the caretaker, who didn’t even live here and only came for occasion check on the boy. Just when he passed a heavily ornamented baroque parlor room, his walk stopped to a huge family picture upside the granite fireplace.

 

_‘My name is Bilbo Baggins…’_

 

Thorin cursed under his breath. Of course, Mahal didn’t give him prize for free. Life will be boring if everything was easy gain.

 

*

 

Bilbo walked to the door with this sheepish smile on him. by every Valar in Arda, he met Thorin! KYAAAA!

 

Ignoring whoever waiting on the other side of the door, Bilbo did some ridiculous victory dance because he’s not only met the man in his dream, but he’s also managed to drag Thorin to his house and savored the yummy body all night long. Okay, he needed to stop dancing because his butt still sore from get rammed –and rimming! Eru Illuvatar, he can’t believe Thorin was so kinky!- to his bed. Bilbo stilled in the middle of entrance hall, brushing his abused heart from the torturous excitement and took a deep breath to ease away the stupid grin forever on his face.

 

Man, he’s really just a hopeless, horny teenager.

 

_‘Is it hurt?’_ Bilbo bit his bottom lip a bit hard when he recalled again the best moment in his life, so far. _‘I don’t mind switched, if it could stop you from biting your poor lips…’_ He shivered, at the imagination of switching and became the one who drove Thorin, _his_ Thorin, into the highest level of heaven.

_‘No, I love this.’_ Bilbo nodded in agreement to his previous answer. _‘I loved it when you take me. You felt so alive inside me, and so real.’_ He escaped a low moan for the slow burn of lust hitting his sensitive groin that he ditched whoever came to visit and run back to bedroom before he was too hard to even move. “Thorin…” he called the man, “Thorin…” and when he found the bedroom door was opened and it’s empty, Bilbo whined in frustration, “Thorin…!” he rushed past the hallways and returned to the first floor where he found the glimpse of his man, standing in the parlor room.

 

.

 

“Thorin.”

 

Thorin could only daze when Bilbo tackled him to the floor, “hey love?” he asked confusedly, “something wrong happened?”

Bilbo nodded absently. Trembling hands worked on his jeans and in no time, blond head was dipped in his crotch.

Thorin moaned, “Bilbo…” he rasped, “what’s…”

“Can’t talk. Busy.” Bilbo hummed with mouthful dick.

“Fuck.” Thorin buckled his hips. “I forgot how…” Thorin lost his breath for a second, “how _horny_ a teen is…”

“You remember now.” Bilbo popped out his hardness from the moistened pink lips, smirked at him before opened the mouth wide and began feasting him without mercy. Thorin gritted his teeth, tried to gather his scattered mind and at least got up on his elbows so he could get a nice view. Man, he was sucked by a teenager and sure he was jealous to whoever Bilbo had suck before him, cause Bilbo was too delicious and too expert on this. He didn’t even care the rage showed by grabbing a handful of Bilbo’s hair and held the boy from bobbing down his shaft.

“I’m gonna kill whoever fucks your mouth, so you better spill names now.”

Bilbo eyes twitched in annoyance, but the boy strangely found reason behind his absurd hiss. “You think I’m good in this?” slowly, Bilbo sat and hovered on his flushed body, “cause this is my first and I’m afraid you had to kill yourself.”

“Mahal…” Thorin cried silently, releasing the hair and enveloped Bilbo into a tight hug, “please then at least explain to me why you suddenly had to do this. And yes, lovely, you did it great, of course I’m afraid you practiced a lot.” he kissed the border between hair and temple as apology for his pulling a while ago, “I’m so in love with you I will die to share you even by sight…”

 

“So possessive.” Bilbo giggled as the boy closed _his_ eyes, enjoying the affection, “just like what I need.”

 

Someone shouted Bilbo’s name impatiently.

 

“Crap.”

 

Both of them immediately got up and stand. Bilbo walked briskly out of parlor room while shouted, “A minute!”

 

Thorin left stricken in sweat and red blush. He tidied back his jeans and took a seat on a high backed chair, suddenly felt swell of uneasiness and guilt to see the family portrait again. It felt like the parents smiled coldly at him and eyed him judgingly. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t even believe he apologized to the portrait. But since it slightly eased the worry and cleared his guilt he dared mouthing more follow ups, “I’m sorry for falling in love to your beloved son.”

He recalled the story had been shared by Mr.Greenwood, how the wintery road had made the Baggins car slips and hit the roadside. The parents who drove and sat in front died instantly, while their only son escaped the death by a broken leg and head injury.

Thorin gritted his teeth. To think it’s his Bilbo who had to face such trauma and grief, it made his body trembled in fury for not be able saving the boy sooner. “I’m sorry…” he said to the portrayal of the parents, “but I’ll keep loving him and keep him happy for the rest of his life.”

He thought maybe it was just his vision, but slowly, the rendering cold smile seemed softened and the judging gaze now filled with content-ness. So with a lightened heart, Thorin got up from his seat and left to find Bilbo.

 

*


End file.
